Funny Sports Quotes

September 25, 2008

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John Barfield

Funny Sports Quotes

This is an ongoing record of the funniest sports' quotes from the major and local sports talk shows like ATH, PTI, Jim Rome, etc.  I missed a few during Hurricane Ike and could use your help. Feel free to contribute some of you own from TV and radio or comment on the ones you see here. Your new quotes will be integrated daily as part of the ongoing record.  To post a quote or make a comment just follow the comment link at the bottom.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

"Carlos turned into marmalade last night." - Woody Paige of ESPN(ATH) and the Denver Post on the performance of Carlos Marmol of MLB's Chicago Cubs.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008



" . . . Mike Ditka who is the Principal of the Old School." - Mike Greenberg on Hall of Fameer Mike Ditka 




Monday, September 8, 2008



"Stupid is as stupid does." - Mike Ditka on DeAngelo Hall of the NFL's Oakland Raiders late hit out of bounds versus the Denver Broncos. (which was immediately folloed by another late hit by Hall)


"We don't know about quarterbacks in Chicago, 'cause we don't have 'em."- Michael Wilbon of ESPN





“You ain’t got no high octane. You‘re going on that regular gas.” – Chris Carter of ESPN on the New England Patriots without Tom Brady


Sunday, September 7, 2008


“Don’t tell me about the pain. Just deliver the baby.” – Trent Dilfer of ESPN on the New England Patriots without Tom Brady


Woody Paige's Chalkboard Quotes- (updated after his appearances on ATH)  


 Friday, September 12, 2008

"If you ain't first, you're Mariotti."

"Jay has had a great show, but this wasn't it."

"I'm part genius, part buffoon."


Monday, September 15, 2008

"Dream more. Work less."

"Watching me online is virtually the best."


Tuesday, September 16, 2008 

"Any way we can speed this up?"

"Talk the talk. Chalk the chalkboard."


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

"Should there be instant replay for Reali's calls?"

"I hope when you see me you smile."


Thursday, September 11, 2008






"A bird is in hand is safer than one overhead."






"There are 3 ninjas on this blackboard. Try to find them."






"I either get what I want or change my mind."









Wednesday, September 10, 2008

"I nap at work."








"Strangely enough, only 26% of pirates wear prescription eyepatches."








"Everyone says I'm in denial, but I'm not"


Monday, September 8, 2008 -

“Let’s constantly turn the conversation back to me.” 

“I went zoot suit shopping and all I got was this lousy blackboard.”

“I make over 4 figures a year.”






Friday, September 5, 2008
“A house without a toilet is uncanny.”

“Men who sit on tacks get the point.”  


Thursday, September 4, 2008
“I’ll never forget this-for a long time.”

“Men who live in glass houses should change in the basement.” 
“Help! I’ve fallen & I can’t shut up.”  


Wednesday, September 3, 2008
“Customer service: Putting people on hold since 1959.”

“I’m smiling. That alone should scare you.”





Check out the columns for a different perspective on sports.




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