BCS-Broadcaster Championship Series

November 19, 2008

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John Barfield

BCS-Broadcaster Championship Series

     The BCS system, a playoff, the pre-BCS system, oh the debates! So lets turn the tables on the BCS minus the C.

     In this era of confusion, befuddlement, and Obama's "Spread the wealth around" mantra, I thought it would be fun to spread some myself. Since the major networks control political elections,the polls, and BCS process as well, let's turn the tables. So I offer an alternative BCS-the Broadcaster Championship Series. Let's see if they like a little of their own, poorly funded and can't get a necessary surgery for years, medicine.

     Here are the contenders and their rankings:

        Sportpoet Arbitrary Poll(SAP)  

1)Brent Musberger(ABC) - the traditional power

2)Kirk Herbsteit(ESPN) -  the glamour team

3)Todd Blackledge(ABC) - the toast, uh taste, of the town

4)Lee Corso(ESPN) - Running the "Not so fast my Friend" Offense 

5)Verne Lundquist(CBS) - the "other" traditional power

6)Lou Holtz(ESPN) - "Dr. Lou"

7)Craig James(ABC) - "the Pony"

8)Doug Flutie(ABC) - fighting for the little guy        

9)Tim Brando(CBS) - Does he know that there are conferences other than the SEC?

10)Pat Haden(NBC) - poor guy has the worst job in sports-he has to watch Notre Dame EVERY week       

11)Bob Davies(ESPN) - those that can't coach, talk 

12)Stacy Dales(ABC) - well, because she is Stacy Dales

13)Versus Sportscasters - the Ball State of Television

14)Fox Sporscasters - the elephant in the room


           Just like the true BCS, there are of course automatic bids. Those go to the big 5 of course, ABC, ESPN,CBS, NBC, and Fox(though I don't know why since they have NO college football until the bowl games.) The qualifiers are chosen via the automatic bids, the SAP, and any other reason that I can think of that will make no sense.

The Conferences

ESPN - They are the Big 12 of announcing as they dominate the rankings and get more publicity


ABC - Yes, I know that they are owned by the same company; but, just like the BCS itself, if you wants things to make sense, you will have to look elsewhere. Really the two are like the Big 12 as a whole -  Each playing each other while everyone else "pretends" that they are better.


CBS- They are a an well established franchise and as a bonus-they have the SEC contract. That makes them viable, even if Ren and Stimpy were announcing.


NBC-They are still well recognized, even though their sports department has become an embarrassment-much like Florida State. Not only did they get locked into a contract with Notre Dame just as the program began to fall off the edge of the Earth, but they have become weak overall. Their NFL broadcasts are sad. There is no baseball. In fact, the best sports thing that they have is their golf(talk about sad!) and that is only good because they have the U. S. Open. They better quit wasting their time with the Obama propaganda and get some decent sports contracts or they will lose their automatic bid.  In fact, this is my poll so I am revoking their privileges as soon as the season ends.. Its official, I am sending them to the previously named Division II.


Versus- They are the new kids on the block and do, in fact, sound a little like Marky Mark - Same cheese, smaller fan base. I will say on their behalf that they had The USC-Stanford game this season and they have picked up some of the WAC and Mountain West games. THAT was a good move. I remember when ESPN had some of those types of games. A few of them became classics, so good luck versus. At least you have more games and are working harder than NBC.

Fox - You have to give these guys credit. They are non existent during the regular season, but the have the BCS games. (Although they just lost the contract) They broadcast less than one game a week during the baseball season, but they have the World Series. I rarely get both games of their doubleheader NFL on Sundays. However, they do usually get the biggest, end of season finales. To me, they are like the good looking guy that never says anything and at the end of the night they pick up the hot girl that you have been entertaining all evening.


So, after "convening with myself", I have arrived at the Broadcaster Championship Series match-ups.


The "I-Have-No-Idea-What-Is-Going-to-Come-Out-0f-Their-Mouth" Bowl

(Also known as the Woody Paige Bowl)

Lou Holtz vs. Lee Corso



The "My-Mouth-is-Drooling" Bowl

Kirk Herbstriet vs. Stacy Dales



The "Midget" Bowl

A.K.A-Politically Correct-The "Little People" Bowl

Doug Flutie vs. Pat Haden



The "Spread-the-Wealth-Around" Bowl

Fox vs. Versus(I just wanted to say vs. Versus)



The "It's-About-The Games" Bowl

also known as The National Title Game

Verne Lundquist vs. Todd Blackledge

(I had to put Blackledge - Hey what's more important than eating!)


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